Rarely does an actor so completely bring a fictional character to life.
My latest video, “The Final - Movie Review.” Divided into three parts. Part 1. It totals an hour and a half.
I’d never think something so small and pointless could destroy someone so greatly.
On February 14th, I started posting on my page Cell. It sat around untouched from January 3rd to February 14th without any posts because I had no means of reaching out and getting likes without a PC. Wyatt Rider Nelson had made Cell for me because of my lack of a PC. The page took off rather quickly and people knew me as the face behind Cell. I’ve grown to love Cell and everything about it..
I chose Cell as the character that represented me because I loved how cocky Cell was as a character in the DBZ series. Cell would’ve defeated the Z-fighters with ease but he wanted them to have the best chance possible against him because he believed he was perfect. His cockiness led to his downfall. Gohan blasted cell away in his fight against him.
There were so many memories that I’ll never forget that the page brought for me.
I remember how I finally decided on the URL for the page. There was a woman who decided she wanted to target my page with mindless anger. Every picture she didn’t like, she commented on it “Not funny, take it off.” I won’t lie, getting 65 notifications saying “Not funny, take it off” was irritating. So in response, I called her a cunt and banned her. This middle aged woman was the first person I had ever banned from my page. I want ed to commemorate the first time I banned someone, so I took her quote and made it my URL. My fans caught on quick and as a joke, they would comment it on my photos and EVERYONE else’s photos in the community. It was a short lived thing but my old fans will never forget the origin of the URL.
The one thing I loved about Cell is that whenever there was a bandwagon, I would make fun of it and my fans would eat it up.
and plenty of other small bandwagons.
I LOVED pointing out some of the bullshit in the stories with all of these bandwagons and from some of my fans, it opened their eyes that not everything they see is the truth. Sometimes you have to do your own research and understand why this may have happened.
Brandon Cyrus was the first bandwagon which brought me Notoriety. When EVERYONE started going against him, I figured I could join in too. I mean, I love trash-talking things and my fans love it when I make fun of the things they hate. Well, after spamming Brandon and dealing with all of the page’s fangirls responding to our hate, I decided to do some research. After around four hours of digging, I discovered that the Brandon Cyrus page was a complete scam. The REAL admin of Brandon Cyrus was a 14-17 year old girl named Lorena. Lorena used the pictures of a Myspace camwhore named Brandon Cyrus(Who I never got in contact with) to win the hearts of pre-teen and teen girls JUST to sell them Brandon Cyrus Merchandise. I tracked down her real profile and then took all of my notes so Austin Harig. Austin (at the time) was the admin of the Big Brock Obama page out there and I knew that if I could get his help, we could get to her. I made a video exposing most of the truth behind Brandon and he shared it. Then, he got in contact with Lorena himself and scared her into shutting down the page. Afterward, Austin took all the credit for “Single-handedly taking down Brandon Cyrus.” If it wasn’t for me, he would have thought Brandon was a 17 year old boy in Beverly Hills California instead of a young girl in Ottawa, Canada. He’ll never admit that he had help and I don’t have any proof other than my word.
After the Brandon Cyrus incident, my likes started to skyrocket because MY small fanbase knew I was the catalyst to the downfall of Brandon. I had also befriended a lot of the respected admins in the community. It was the first time I felt I had some trustworthy friends online and it was a great feeling. With the help of part of the community, my likes get gradually growing and I wa becoming a solid page in the community. I was loved by everyone and respected by everyone because I had managed to befriend the admin of Brock and I helped out every page I could when I could.
The first time I had made it in the news was during the 1 lunatic, 1 icepick bandwagon. I had started a youtube to do my challenges on for the fans and then after a while, they had asked me to do reaction videos to the different shock videos out on the net. I wasn’t find of the idea because of how desensitized I am to shock videos after spending a few years lurking /b/ in it’s prime. I gave in after enough request and I started watching some of the worst videos the internet has to offer. Well, 1 lunatic, 1 icepick came out and it basically was a man decapitating another man with an icepick and then violating the dead body in multiple ways THEN feeding a piece of the body to a puppy. I got a friend and we sat and made a reaction video to the shock vid. My friend, who was also very desensitized due to personal reasons started to crack jokes during the video so I followed suit. The video consisted of us drinking beer and laughing at the fact the a man was murdered and violated on camera. The video took off rather quickly and received ALOT of hate. Eventually, a website called Betabeat had featured an article about how people were making reaction videos to the monstrosity and they showed a picture of my friend and myself smiling and drinking a beer. That was an exciting experience knowing that I hit the news and I was proud of it, I won’t lie.
Another thing I had picked up on was making parody videos of people. BG Kumbi was an obvious troll and people believed he was really out to take down 4chan. I made a video imitating what he did except I made it even more obvious it was a troll and people still thought I was actually trying to take 4chan down. I also, did a parody video of the people with the note cards talking about how horrible their life is and I did a dance video as a joke for a video titled “Mating call” which consisted of a girl awkwardly dancing to Fergie.
The Miami Zombie was another case like Brandon Cyrus where I made a video stating my opinion on the situation and II gave my thoughts on what happened. That video triggered me making a video to every bandwagon and tragedy that had happened since. People loved my opinions. Sometimes the opinions were obvious ones and some of them were outside of the box opinions and people ate it up. I loved doing it.
The first BIG bandwagon I helped feed was the Adalia/Natalia situation. I didn’t make fun of the child as much as I pointed out my thoughts on the mother. When the bandwagon had began, people would shop the child’s head onto EVERYTHING and I found some of them humorous but most of them weren’t even clever. I directed my hate at the mother and I challenged the mother to come talk to me in a video. That video had went viral after that. It got around 150,000 views and it was a video that was being pushed to be featured on CNN though ultimately denied because of a lack of interest.
Well, shortly after it was denied by CNN, Natalia had came in contact with me. We eventually agreed to talk on skype and after a two hour debate, Natalia changed my opinion on some things. I found out that she wasn’t trying to exploit her daughter and any money she makes goes to the Progeria research foundation. She was only letting her daughter’s dream of being noticed be fufilled since she is going to have a short life. I could relate to her because my only real goal in life is to be remembered and after I explained to her why she got so much hate, we came to the agreement that she take a short hiatus on posting Adalia to let the fire die down. I made a second video stating my informed opinion on Adalia and Natalia because I didn’t feel right keeping the uninformed opinion up. Natalia shared her video on Adalia’s page in hope to get some of the people off of my ass about my first video. Natalia and I are still friends to this day and we chat on occasion.
Around the time of the Adalia situation, I had received a GIANT spike in likes and that’s when things started to change. All the pages and admins that were my friends grew to hate me as I surpassed them and I kept gaining massive reception from my fanbase from when I would make 4panel replies. The other admins would say it’s annoying and they said because of the 4panels, I’m not funny anymore and they hated me. Supposedly close friends hating me because of a few pictures I made that wasn’t even really offensive.Over time, I ended up alone and the most hated person in the community. That’s probably when I cut myself off and focused more on myself. Losing people you though cared over something menial hurts.
Over the course of the next few months, I fueled more bandwagons and made videos with my opinions on them as well. Cell had taken off like no other page and I was proud of it. It was my baby,
Another thing that made my page stand out from others was my challenges. I may not have been the first to do milestone challenges but I was one of the most noted. I had done pretty much every challenge up to 100k that I could think of just to please my fans. I put myself up against an MMA fighter, got pepper sprayed tazed, and other various eating and drinking challenges just to entertain. I loved entertaining my fans.
When I hit 300k, I had an idea. I saw a way to make some extra cash through posting some links on the page. I wasn’t going to change the content, I just wanted to figure out how to save some money and give back. I thought of ways to do giveaways and try to reach out to the fans to show them I care IF they clicked the links. I also planned to put money aside to have an AMAZING wedding for my fiancee. I wanted her to be happy and I wanted our wedding to be grand. Along with that, I wanted to put money into savings in hopes to secure for a future and maybe one day, a child.
The links took off like fire. I was using them and people were clicking them and I was trying to give back through small gifts like steam cards and whatnot. I set up a BIG give away for a PS3 for one lucky fan too. The downside to the whole links thing is that I have to figure out my own taxes and what to take out and put aside to pay in. In one week, I made $2,700 from those links. I put $1,300 aside for taxes, $450 in for the fans, and the remaining $950 into the savings.
During this time, I was trying to get a new job at a building that makes uniforms. Thing is, I didn’t have the nerve to quit McDonalds (I was a maintenance man) because of fear. Well, with this link thing, it gave me the nerve to finally quit the wretched hell that was Mcds and focus on winning a position at the new job. I’m in the final phase for interviewing at the place now and it’s almost certain that I’ll start next week. You guys gave me the courage to better myself. Without you guys I’d still be stuck at the deadbeat job at mcds.
Well, On January 8th, everything went to hell. Here’s what I think happened:
I’ve sat and looked at all sides and tried to understand this to the best I can. It was NOT the links that got Cell taken down. IF it were those links, I would have lost Brock Obama and A 570k lego page. Every page that was taken down was connected to a coadmin of mine named Aaron Thompson. IF it were the links that had taken him down, I feel he would have had to spam them with EVERY post (which I avoided). I THINK (Just an assumption) it was him charging people $5 for a share because when he did share them, it would get shared on all of those pages. I respect Aaron and I don’t think he deserves to have his pages taken down either but I won’t take blame for something that I wasn’t the center of the punishment for,.
Well now, Cell is gone. My hopes of saving for a decent wedding shattered, My savings are going to be put into bills until my new job starts, and a years time, wasted.
I don’t want to start over. I love you guys and the only reason I made a new page was because of you. The only reason I’m trying is because of you. Everything that I planned toward with some extra cash is now demolished. I feel beat for the first time in my life and I hate it.
I’m nothing without Cell. Cell was my stepping stone to remembrance and over time it would have helped me achieve all of my goals. Now, everything that I’ve worked toward is shattered.
I know I’m not a god and I know I’m not that intelligent. I’m just a fat guy on the keyboard with an opinion. The only thing that made me worth anything was the false ground I had on cell.
I’m weak without it and I’m nothing special from anyone. I didn’t deserve 300,000 likes nor does most people . All I did was take content from funny picture websites and repost them to entertain you and save you from going to those websites. I would occasionally take a picture of myself and caption it to keep the Carl feel to the page.
You guys fed my need for attention and now without it, I’m an empty worthless shell of blubber.
You can say that I’m doing well with my new Carl page but it’s just not the same. Cell had a specific feel to it and now it’s gone.
I feel like a big bitch about this but it’s true. Those shitty worthless likes helped me become the person you saw on Cell. Without them, I’m nothing special, no one important, and undeserving of everything.
I love you guys but it I feel that my time is up with entertaining.